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Funny "Perfect Dark" reviews, courtesy of Amazon c
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Kode-Z
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 7:18 am    Post subject: Funny "Perfect Dark" reviews, courtesy of Amazon c Reply with quote Back to top

Found these customer reviews rather entertaining - see what you think!

Quote:
"I bought this game because I'd heard through word of mouth and really old magazines that it was really good. When I tried to play it, however, it didn't work well at all! The main problem, and indeed, perhaps the only problem, are the controls. A first person shooter on a system with a controller that has only one analog stick is doomed to failure. I couldn't find a control setup that didn't suck. For all I know, the game itself, should you be able to slog through with these abysmal controls, may be quite good. But as a gamer weaned on FPS's on my Xbox 360, I can't recommend this game to anybody."


Quote:
"Perfect dark is a total rip off of james bond and has the same ideas for levels and it sucks james bond was way better"


Quote:
"I played this thing with a friend ONCE,and came to the conclusion very quickly that this was the worst game ever made.
the graphics are horrible,there are about 6 guns to thoose from,
its all girls,no guys,this is the worste game ever made.
if you have an urge to play this,rent 007 golden eye,minus
100 and thats perfect dark.
i recomend 007 the world is not enough,or spiderman."


Quote:
"I was extremely disappointed with this title. You will like it if you like Goldeneye, but definitely go with Goldeneye over this game. The multiplayer is 50 times better than Goldeneye, but the cheats and single player levels leave EVERYTHING to be desired. For one thing, it requires more sneaking around because one missed shot hits the wall letting the guards know of your presence who will then hit you with perfect accuracy and kill you in a matter of seconds because of your quickly draining life meter. You also run out of bullets faster and reload much slower. The difficulty is just about near impossible. If you can't beat Goldeneye with EVERYTHING as in cheats, bonus levels, record times, etc, DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. You can't beat this game on Perfect Agent unless you're a game tester, and I'm sure even they had problems. The game is so hard it just totally degrades from the fun factor. The plot is also absurd. Aliens and such. Ha Ha. Amusing. DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY! I strongly reccomend going for Goldeneye rather than Perfect Dark."
 
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radorn
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 7:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

the first and third need a good slapping.
 
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PaRaDoX
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I hate these kinda people.They probably barely played the game
 
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Wreck
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I love the different grades of ignorance on display everyday on our beloved Internet. Some people will just flat-out knock something without giving much reason, while others will go to great lengths to pick out the flaws in an attempt to seem a little more professional. Even still, they often lack enough information to put together a worth while review, or are fanboys of something else.

Only thing I can agree on was that GoldenEye was better. I wouldn't say that it's the superior game technically, but it certainly had better level design. Plus, being the world of James Bond never hurts, either. Wink
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Dragonsbrethren
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 11:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

The one complaining about the control scheme is somewhat justified, but loses credibility by acting like dual analog controls are so much better. The fact of the matter is GE and PD both had acceptable controls for the controller they were designed around, unlike the "three handed" schemes other N64 games forced on you. Console FPS games are still hindered by controllers though; anyone who's taken any amount of time to play one on a PC with a mouse and keyboard can tell you that.

Like Wreck I also agree that, overall, GoldenEye had a better single player experience than Perfect Dark. The difficulty does go a long way towards that; PD can be brutal on Perfect Agent.
 
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TH126
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 12:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Haha what fools. I cant stand people like this, it irritates me to see these people bash on my favorite game of all time (practically).

I'm guessing they just took a glimpse rather than played through the whole game. Then again the controls do take some getting used to, but that still shouldnt decide whether it "sucks" or not. They ought'a lay off. The N64 may have a crap controller but Rare found a way to make it work.

And the outcome: A Masterpiece FPS. Perfect Dark is forever!
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HackBond
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 12:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

TH126 wrote:
Haha what fools. I cant stand people like this, it irritates me to see these people bash on my favorite game of all time (practically).

I'm guessing they just took a glimpse rather than played through the whole game. Then again the controls do take some getting used to, but that still shouldnt decide whether it "sucks" or not. They ought'a lay off. The N64 may have a crap controller but Rare found a way to make it work.

And the outcome: A Masterpiece FPS. Perfect Dark is forever!


The controls feel like a breeze to me, only thing I needed to get used to is switching from one mode to another.
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

They are a breeze to everybody here I assume, but to a newcomer on the N64? Probably takes some patience, which these reviewers obviously lack.
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acceptable67
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Those people need a punch in the face.
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 PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I wasn't much of fan of Perfect Dark; but it's still a good game none the less.
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 PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I remember one review from one of the "major video game sites":

The outline was something like this:
"When the game has name "Perfect Dark" is surely is dark. In fact when I started the game on my PC, the screen was so black I couldn't see anything! What a ripoff! 1/10."

I laughed so hard!
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
 
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acceptable67
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 PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

fantsu wrote:
I remember one review from one of the "major video game sites":

The outline was something like this:
"When the game has name "Perfect Dark" is surely is dark. In fact when I started the game on my PC, the screen was so black I couldn't see anything! What a ripoff! 1/10."

I laughed so hard!
Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing


LAWL WTF? On his PC?
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Perfect Dark Forever.
 
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Protectorate
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 PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2011 6:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Lol I love amazon reviews. They're always so stupid and childish. Amazon is more of personal insults than actual reviews on the game.
 
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acceptable67
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 PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2011 9:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Yes, their very ridiculous.
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Jedi QuestMaster
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 PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2011 11:59 pm    Post subject: Re: Funny "Perfect Dark" reviews, courtesy of Amaz Reply with quote Back to top

Quote:
"A first person shooter on a system with a controller that has only one analog stick is doomed to failure. I couldn't find a control setup that didn't suck. For all I know, the game itself, should you be able to slog through with these abysmal controls, may be quite good. But as a gamer weaned on FPS's on my Xbox 360, I can't recommend this game to anybody."


Ah, X-Box fans. Laughing I see they want to play the "original" now.

I could say the exact same thing routed against dual analogs. That's probably why I never was into Halo & the like. I would have to always change the setup to something like "Southpaw Legacy" I think it was.

Everyone thought I was weird for it.
 
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