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If Trump Were The President...
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Wreck
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 PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 2:19 pm    Post subject: If Trump Were The President... Reply with quote Back to top

Well, he may be in the real world once he's sworn in (life is stranger than fiction), but let's imagine what he may have said in Perfect Dark as the President there...

"I know more about the Skedar than the Maians do."

"We're going to build a wall along the Earth border to keep illegal aliens out, and we're going to get them to pay for it. They aren't sending us their best. They're sending us little grey men, shapeshifters, genocidal monsters, rapists... and some, I assume, are good creatures."

"That Cassandra de Vries... Such a nasty woman."

Regarding meeting with Maian ambassador...
"I'd better take some TicTacs, in case I start kissing them. I can't help myself."

"When you're a star, you can do whatever you want. Grab 'em by the tenticle. They let you do it."
 
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HackBond
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 PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2016 3:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Haha, got a good chuckle out of this.
 
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oldyz
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 PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2016 2:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Olllo here

LOL tenticle -

it would be interesting to hack the game under the Trump context -
the scene with the Trump clones ....
that is either nightmarish or Hillarious...

"Don't shoot me, shoot him, I am the most luxurious Trump of all this fake Trumps, shoot this crooked Trump, i mean , look at him, it is a flawed copy with no style, if i where the guy that contracted the Clone company to make this sub-par clones of me, i would not pay them, in fact i'm going to sue this clone company for copyright infringement, we have to go after them , this is probably a company in china.. -BANG-

on the other hand , i think the rom would have to be expanded to 3 times its size to fit all the new audio dialogue
 
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 PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I'm not sure, but Joanna would not help escape the president of the Skedar and of Trent Easton
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 PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 12:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Jo: Huh is that Trump plane, huh smaller than I thought.

(Conversation starts with Trent on Plane)


(Trent walks in)

Donald: Listen if this is about what I think it is Cassandra can shove it up her wherever. I already told you I'm *not* going to DO it! Listen buddy I'm not loaning you the Pelagic 2..

Trent: This is a golden opportunity to..

Donald: Wrong! Cut the crap Easton! No it's an opportunity for YOU to get the h#$$ out of my office or else we discuss something else, something more beneficial to this great great nation. That'd be swell. No? Guess we're done here then..

Trent: (O)__O) as you wish sir!

NSA Guard: Any luck...

Trent: ...Hmph...no, JUST..ugh let's go.


Donald: What's this? Beautiful women coming into my office? Look honey, your beautiful but I've told secret service not to share their hired woman with me.. I told them not on the job! Any more and they'll be out of a job. I'm married now, to my lovely wife Melania. Oh sorry you are someone else!? Ah a Stewardess, could you get me a drink?


Jo: Mr. President your in danger!

Donald: British accent!? Don't tell me.. your with the press aren't you. Crooked Hillary sent you didn't she!? Or was it crazy Bernie? Lying Ted? Katie Couric, Megyn Kelly..Huffington post, Yahoo, ABC, CBS, CNN, NBC, Anderson Cooper? Lies, All fake news! They're a danger to this country..believe me.

Jo: No I'm not..its..

Donald: Who are you!? And who sent you!?

Jo: Carrington sent me sir, I'm Joanna.

Donald: Doesn't ring a bell, don't know who that is!?


Donald: Listen honey I'm always in danger, we got a bunch of losers running the media, my political adversaries. Real bad people, nasty people,
believe me. Ask Melania she'll tell ya.

Jo: It's Trent sir, he's trying to kidnap you!

Donald: Thank ya darlin, for letting me know. Trent can't do that..he'd be stupid to try. OH besides I love that guy, he's a real great guy! I gave him his job of director of the NSA. He wanted me to loan him the pelagic 2, I said no way jose. I can maybe give him a small loan of a million dollars if he continues to do a good job, maybe.. but not that. Besides dataDyne'd probably sell it to *China* then give me a new fake one..America first!

Jo: Pelagic 2?

Donald: It's hyuuuuuge. It's a government deep sea research vessel. Top secret! One of a kind! Dives deep into the ocean..and I'm talkin real deep.

Jo: Interesting.. Uh Sir, here's a recording of the conspirators.

Donald: Unbelieveable! I'm in your hands Johanna. What do we do!?

Jo: It's Joanna.




(Explosion)


Donald: What the h#$$ was that!? That was a loud boom! Attention security for allowing this to happen Your all fired! Terrible security, simply terrible.

Donald: So Trents a radical terrorist! I should have known. If Trent's seriously trying to get me then we're gonna have to get him first, *pulls out magnum*

Joanna: Mr. President!??

Donald: Oh yeah, that's right..it's real nice.

Jo: (O.o) sir, it's not real...it's a toy...

Donald: Nice ini't got it at a carnival! Won *first place* best shooter hands down. No one will know if I just paint the top of it. Darlin could you be a dear and go fetch me a paint brush.

Jo: Sir no time for that! We need to get going!

Donald: You're right! This is a matter of National security! Let me get my phone real quick I need to address the nation and my followers on Twitter so everyone knows what's going on.

Donald: where'd all my security go!? All I see are their guns everywhere..

Jo: I believe they joined Trent sir, since you fired them.. we may be fighting them too.

Donald: Uh Oh Sounds real bad..




(During the mission)


What a bunch of losers!

Jo protect me!

Evil evil, terrorist losers!

Ow that really hurt

I've been hit, but I'm still going strong.

We need to get the h#$$ outta here!

Wrong! We need to go down to the shuttle.. down! Joanna, down.

All I hear is bing bing boom boom, crazy!

They better not hit my hair, spent all morning on it!

My followers retweeted my post, they'll send someone to save us Joanna..


(later scene with dataDyne and the created clone)


Donald Clone: Listen I will drain the swamp, no losers will tell me how to DO my job. Maga! Make America Great Again! We will! I tell you this!

Donald Clone: I know I'm clone, but I'll do great things and do an even better job than myself...and that's saying something, believe me.

Donald Clone: I may even work with myself to better this country, it'll be twice as good.

Donald Clone: Two is much much better than one! Say could you boys make a clone of my wife Melania for me? Appreciate it!

Skedar and dataDyne: Multiple voices) This didn't go so well.... Uhhh... your right!? The boss isn't gonna be happy bout this... he doesn't obey us..

(Blonde walks in)

Donald Clone: Say Mr. Blonde *you* kinda look like my son Eric, for real. Are you my son...it's a real nice look for you son, though I don't think bathrobes are trending right now I'll check, first lemme check my twitter feed. *Checks Not-Real Donald Twitter account*

Mr. Blonde..... Our plans have failed. You've all failed.. we're leaving this planet... forget the Cetan we'll retrieve what we need some other day...your all useless and cannot serve our needs any further.. and for the record it's a suit! Not a bathrobe... -_-

Donald Clone: I will be the greatest clone ever created! After it's finished I want an immediate ban on cloning, immediately after Melania and the rest of my family have been made. Bad judgement! Terrible.

Donald Clone: I was made from greatness. The greatest!


Thanks for reading. This was in no way insulting or supporting the president and was for pure comedy and entertainment purposes used solely for fiction. If he had he been in the game. Razz
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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

It's funny but even I know when not to have too much imagination.
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Joey Fygoon
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 PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2018 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

I’m just going to add on to the conversation. To get the most out of the experience, use the key provided, DT, Donald Trump, JD, Joanna Dark. Enjoy.
DT: “I’m smart, like, really smart.”
JD: “So, what about Trent?”
DT: “Is he Hispanic?”
JD: “No.”
DT: “Damn, I would’ve deported him.”
JD: “We need to escort you out of here, Mr. Presiden-“
DT: “How old are you?”
JD: “23.”
DT: “I could always divorce my wife...”
Should I continue?
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Wreck
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 PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2018 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Joey Fygoon wrote:
DT: “I could always divorce my wife...”

Seems to me he has plenty of fun on the side.
 
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Reflectionist
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 PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 8:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Pretty sure he'd have signed over the Pelagic II though.
 
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 PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2018 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top


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 PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2018 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

no
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mistamontiel
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 PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2018 7:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

YEH LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wreck
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 PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2018 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Looks good... But those hands. They need to be much bigger. Like huge. A real man's hands. Just ask Stormy Daniels. Rolling Eyes

"You know, I really could have handled things myself back there. I'm a master negotiator, years of business skills. I was about to put up a deal with Easton, which would see all the Skedar deported back to whatever shithole planet they came from. But now you stepped in, he's dead, and those bad hombres are invading the US like herpes. I'm gonna have one hell of a time writing my 3am Tweets about all this. Let's just call it fake news and head to Mar-a-Lago for the weekend. You'll die for the chocolate cake, it's unbelievable."
 
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 PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2018 3:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Hahahaha
 
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oldyz
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 PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 3:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Just necromancing the thread....

M.A.P.A Dark would be a beautiful piece of gaming satire...

With such weird things like the space force , "the space wall"
trump trying to bribe the Cetans & then betraying them & they all die.

Electoral meddling by the Skedar

so much material for a twisted version of the game
 
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